ISLAND OF MEEJA HOS: UPDATE

Manchild Paul is sad because Lady Thicko isn't that thick, and gives him the brush-off.

One of their "tasks" is to arrange themselves in a line, the least famous and one end and the most famous at the other. Bet you spent all night thinking up that one, producers. Fran Cosgrave refuses to take part because he doesn't want to admit that he's only marginally more famous than Precious, and one of them wails something about fame being an impossible thing to measure. Doesn't Paxo use the number of column inches in Heat magazine or some such measure? Anyway, they all shuffle around on the deck and somehow Du'ane Wossname wins a day out with Rebecca Loos. Whoop de doo. No shagging. Rebecca implies that he's not famous enough or uses the "I'm not ready" excuse.

Abi Titmuss gets tipsy with no bra on, and starts waving her threps around Lee Sharpe. Of course, it sparks off another midnight snivel sesh in the toilets with Jayne, who feels "humiliated". Uh, hello? You're on a reality show, love...you signed away your right not to be toyed with like a beagle in the Nicorettes lab in episode 1, so deal, honey.