SCD: BYE BYE BABY BABY BYE BYE

It’s the semi final and everyone can guess that Emma is going to get the boot (including Emma, by the look of it). Everyone does two dances again and this time everyone is worried about the Argentine Tango, as the professionals are not that good at it either.

BOSOMWATCH
Tess’ breasts look all right this week, though in a nod to the festive season she appears to be wearing a dress made out of bacofoil.

(I actually watched the) RESULTS SHOW (for the first time ever!)
The guest dancers are a bare chested hunk and a lady in a sort of catwoman outfit. She does impossible looking things with her legs while he makes sex faces and throws her repeatedly into the air. Blimey.

The musical act is Cliff Richard :(

Now onto the dancing….

Lovely Mark
Mark’s love rat shame turned out to be no big deal. Ha ha, take that you tabloid bunton bet placers! For the first dance he does the Quickstep, which is the high speed 1920’s style one where they belt around the dance floor and then do flappery leg kicking. Karen falls over during rehearsals – ohs noes, will her sore leg recover in time? (answer: yes). The dance seems alright – very quick and they keep in time with the kicking bits. They look great with Mark in a penguin suit and Karen in a lilac floaty dress and their chemistry is strong as usual. The judges say that he is not quite light enough on his feet though, but he still gets an OK mark.

For the second one they do the Argentine Tango, which is like the regular tango but with lifts and complicated leg tangly type manouvres. Mark looks like he could be latin anyway and is v suave in a black suit and two tone shoes. Karen wears a Chicago-cast-member type black lace dress and they scowl and glide around each other in a sultry stylee. The leg kicking is all v good and there are some nifty lifts. It is very impressive and the crowd go wild. They get a 9 and three 10s and Karen practically has a seizure and then bursts into tears. Even Mark’s normally deadpan wife smiles and jiggles excitedly in her seat. He gets the highest placing of the night once the audience have voted too. Mark to win, though I fear that Karen will actually explode if he does

Slighty less lovely Matt
For the first dance they do the foxtrot and I don’t remember much about it. It was OK and they get a range of marks from a 7 to 9s. For the Argentine Tango, Lilia is wearing a bizarre blue dress with one sleeve and some sort of lacing up her other arm. She does lots of cool things but poor old Matt just has some very slow boring steps to do and doesn’t get to show off his skillz at all. He also still isn’t great at selling a performance like the others and is accused of not being smouldering enough by the judges. He gets OK marks and Arlene shrieks, “I want raw sex!!!” when she gives her mark, to general hilarity. He is bottom by the time the judges have finished but comes second overall.

Baby Spice
Emma knows that she could fly around the studio doing somersaults and shooting fireworks out of her arse and she still wouldn’t get through tonight, but she says she is going to do her best anyway and reminds everyone that it is all for charidee anyway so keep voting (for me) pls thanks.

She does her Argentine Tango first in a sparkly red dress and it is pretty good but apparently not fiery enough. It doesn’t help that her non-wig-wearing partner has never really done it before either. There is a good bit where she sort of leans over at a funny angle and is dragged along the floor.

For her last dance she does a samba in a rather lurid pink and orange dress. It is quite good but they spend too much part on opposite sides of the room and not enough time dancing together. All in all they come second with the judges but the public just don’t seem to have taken to her on this show and she gets the boot, leading to an all male final for the second year in a row. Mark definitely deserves to be there but I’m not really sure about Matt – he is nice enough and has improved enormously over the series but I still think that both Davetta and Emma were better dancers than him.