AMERICAN TELLY!!

Well I have an excuse for being slack as I have been on holiday in New York! We had the telly on every now and again but the only things that stood out were...

DANCE WITH THE STARS!!
This is the US version of Strictly Come Dancing and the format is exactly the same only slighty more American and with more filler. Cabbie Len and Bruno are on the judging panel with a pretty American lady. When they give their votes they stand up and shout "TEN!!!!" The three remaining competitors were some older ex footballer bloke, Joey Lawrence (whom I vaguely recall as a teen TV star with a mullet and a v short pop career - now he is v bald and muscley and kept going on about god and his family. vom) and a v plasticky/handsome young latino guy I had never heard of. Joey was eliminated ha ha. Hot latino guy to win!!

FASHION HOUSE
Oh my god, this was hilariously bad. It basically stars Bo Derek and Morgan Fairchild (looking like a laminated version of Paris Hilton these days) as fashion designers who are rivals in business! and love! The plot makes no sense. At one point Bo is hiding in hospital with a fake heart attack and Morgan is trying to stab her with a syringe, next thing Bo is having catfights with gang girls in prison. Eh? In between there are many scenes of Bo and Morgan slapping each other, scenes where pretty girls talk about stuff and try unsuccessfully to make sad/troubled/devious facial expressions and scenes where hunky men talk about stuff and then stare at each other intensely as though they are about to start gaying up (though they sadly don't). Basically anything not involving slapping is like the bits of porn between sex scenes. I can't see any UK channel buying it, but it would work as a Prisoner Cell Block H style late night cult thing.