Random thoughts on LOST

Could C4 have hyped this programme any more? no, they could not. I thought it was OK but nothing special - it all seemed very cliched and generic. Still, I have heard it improves over the next few weeks and will carry on watching for now.

Dr Jack is fit but has a suspiciously squeaky voice. I still wouldn’t say no, though. It was very annoying when he ran round saving everyone for ages and generally acted all super and heroic – I am looking forward to finding out what his secret shame is and hope he is not so square-jawed and lunkish for the whole series. It was also annoying that his photogenic scratches did not change colour the whole time he was on the island. Hello, make up people! It’s called “blood clotting!” look into it!

There is a hobbit amongst the survivors, but for some reason he is pretending to be a has-been rock star. His character’s name is Charlie and he is apparently addicted to charlie! OMG – do you see what they did there?!? I’m looking forward to the episode where he goes cold turkey and wanders round clutching himself muttering “I’m jonesing real bad, man. Etc”. Then I expect he will gaze off into space and there will be a flashback about his drug shame. Those flashbacks are so cheesy (esp with the staring etc) - if only they had a wibbly wobbly screen fade too. The hobbit had the thankless role of having to trip over while being chased by a MONSTER. Normally they make chicks do the the falling over thing, so that's progress for you, I suppose. To go with the hobbit there is a cheap version of Aragorn (ie a square jawed bloke with stringy blond hair and a scrubby beard). Robin has met him in real life and says that he is smoking hot – I will have to take her word for it.

Naveen Andrew is quite nice looking but his hair is rotten. Somehow I don’t think they encouraged members of Saddam’s Elite Republican Guard to ponce around like Diana Ross. The one who played Dawson’s hot gay friend in “Rules of Attraction” is also quite nice looking but his hair is also rotten. Why does the Lost hair dept hate me so? What have I ever done to them?

I recognise that angry Korean dude from 24, where he was a CTU squad commander helping Jack Bauer carry out one of those harebrained schemes that probably ended up with all of the important witnesses dying in a hail of gunfire. Good one, Jack. I think his plot will revolve around his wife becoming empowered etc – she’s already undone the top button of her cardy against his express orders, the hussy.

I am not sure what to make of the giant invisible bitey monster. It is all very “Forbidden Planet” and I will not be surprised at all if Terry Quinn snaps and starts running round yelling “Creatures of the Id! Creatures of the Id!” Also, Mr Annoying Narrator from Oz - is it really wise to let your son become too pally with the murderous protaganist of the Stepfather films? I think not.

Main girl character is supposed to be some kind of master criminal, but you can tell she is really a goody so I expect she did something like rescue a bunch of puppies from an evil vivisection lab, or stole from the rich to give to the poor or something. Perhaps if I stare into space hard enough I can generate a flashback and find out for myself...