Apprentice USA: Crimes of Fashion

This week wasn’t as bitch-tastic as previously, basically because the women did well and didn’t have to find another sacrificial victim (though that didn’t stop them being mean to Elizabeth a lot (she seems alright, if a bit whiny) and sending the unpopular girls off to talk to shop people while the popular girls had lunch with a fashion designer and “brainstormed”). Also that evil Stacey wasn’t in it very much. The task was to create a fashion line with a designer – the one who sold the most clobber to store buyers after a fashion show would win! Blinking maniac Maria led the girls’ team (and selected an affable young male designer to work with) and Cute John led the boys’ team (and selected an intense german looking woman with a crewcut and mad staring eyes. Ruh roh). The designers basically did all the work while the teams flapped around and got in their way. The best part was when the men went to help chose fabrics. John basically sat in a corner and wept while the other dorks wandered around the cloth shop picking out hideous swaths of white nylon covered in pink giant polka dots. The designer was giving them death looks and Ice Maiden Carolyn was absolutely cracking up. It was nice to see her express human emotion for once.

The women made up their garments without much trouble and then all tried them on and pranced around squealing “Gawd! I feel so fabulous!” The men pestered their designer (especially this one called Raj, a preppy dork who always wears retarded bow ties) and got lots more death looks while she was trying to make the clothes – I don’t think she was as well organised as the other designer. John and his mates fucked off to letch over models and left two other guys to price the lines. Raj was even worse when the models arrived and tried to impress them by speaking German. “Raj ist ein Dumpkopf, ja!” “ Ja! Das stimmt!” etc. The fashion show came around and the clothes were borderline hideous – some of them quite nice individually but all put together in weird combinations. Maybe ladies will disagree with me? There was this dark red blouse that was quite nice but anyway... It turned out the men had seriously overpriced their stuff and the women sold three times more clothes than them. Ouch!

Loser John chose to take two people into the boardroom with him – this young guy called Andy that the others all pick on and one of the people who messed up the pricing. It would have been more sensible to take both the pricing guys and Raj, who was a dick of the highest order. John was criticised for picking an odd mix of people for the boardroom, for picking designer Ilsa – She Wolf of the Pret a Porter, and generally for being a bit crap (which he was). Buh Bye John – you are fired! It is a shame he had to go before he got a chance to answer the Donald–Fone with his shirt off but never mind...