LOST: MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS
Hobbit, Kurtz, Dr Jack and Alpha Girl went to get water from the magic stream. There's lots of what Hobbit calls "verbal copulation" between Dr Jack and Alpha Girl.

Hobbit tried to sneak away and sniff his last bit of Charlie or whatever it is he has in his secret pocket and stands on a beehive. Hobbit's purpose is to do stuff that girls used to do in the old days before Buffy. The bees get angry and chase everybody back into the cave where Alpha Girl and Jack stand panting, with their tops off, trying not to notice each other. Then somebody discovers some strangely mummified dead bodies that they call "Adam and Eve" (bletch) and Jack starts thinking that the group should move off the beach and into the caves. Alpha Girl's all "No! We would be giving up hope of rescue if we did that!", while Dr Jack says they could build a whole new world where love is the king or something. No he doesn't really. The others aren't keen though. They say it's because they want to keep the beach fire alive, but really they're all thinking "move in with mummies? Ewww!". Even Kurtz.

Kurtz decides to follow Hobbit around and give him some wisdom or discuss flatted sevenths...whatever. We discover that Hobbit's real addiction is to his guitar (well, duh!), and he's jonesing real bad. Kurtz tells him he has to give his drucks to the island, and the island will give him back his guitar. Hobbit: "hunh?". Kurtz tells him to look up, and lo! there is a carefully dangling acoustic with all its strings intact! What are the chances of that happening eh? Kurtz will regret that, because instead of hoped-for Frank Black-style songs about swimming with crustaceans, we get bad folk rock and strumming. Lots of strumming.

Meanwhile, back on the beach, Korean Guy leaps on African American guy and starts trying to kill him in front of the kids. Cute hairy Iraqi guy (oh yeah?) separates them and handcuffs Korean guy to the plane. Wifey looks into the distance and yes, we're back in flashback mode. Hubby turns out to be a former waiter who joins Wifey's dad's "organisation" as a general gofer so that he can marry Wifey. Wifey obviously wants to break free, especially when she discovers that Hubby has become one of her dad's hired assassins. So she somehow manages to take secret 'lessons' and gets a woman posing as an interior decorator to arrange her escape. But then Hubby does something sweet at the airport, and she decides to stay with him.

So there you go. Back at the beach, AA Guy is angrily chopping up bits of bamboo when Wifey creeps up on him and explains in perfect English that AA Guy's watch that he found on the beach is in fact her father's, and Hubby has to protect his boss's property at all costs, and by the way, could he keep it a secret that she speaks English, because Hubby doesn't know. AA Guy looks incredulous, but frees Hubby anyway and gives him the stupid watch back.

Dr Jack persuades everybody except the blond marshall bloke, AA Guy and Alpha Girl (I think)to go and live in the magic water cave - mummies notwithstanding. Hobbit strums his guitar in the firelight and everybody looks a bit dreamy. He'd better learn some new chords or he'll be vulture food by the end of the week.