ROMEWATCH

Male full frontal nudity is actually a plot point this week as Attia of the Jullii Cooper tries to suck up to Servalan by giving her a well hung slave as a present (something that I suspect will be missing from the “Christmas gift ideas” sections of weekend colour supplement magazines this month). I have decided that, entertaining though she is, Jullii Cooper is actually a rubbish manipulatrix – she totally blew it with Hot Marc Anthony by blurting out “let’s get married, betray Caesar and rule Rome together, bwah hah haha!” (sigh, you’re supposed to get him to do all that shit but think it’s actually his own idea). Marc called her a harpy and stomped off to bail out Caesar and (spoiler) will probably start boning Cleopatra soon too. Also Jullii thinks that Servalan doesn’t know that she fucked things up between her and Caesar, even though Servalan is sitting at home spending all her time practising making dead eyed evil faces and sticking pins into a doll in the likeness of Jullii.

Btw, I’d love to know what happened to Jullii’s first husband…

In other news, Vorenus is still BORING. Pullo looks quite handsome with his hair grown out. I imagine there was a 3000% increase in Pullo/Vorenus slash fiction (vom) on the interweb when Vorenus got drunk and Pullo gave him a big hug and carried him home. Pullo is training Walter the Softy (aka Octavian) in the arts of sword play and whoremongering and now all the blokes have ponced off to Greece to fight Pompey.