ROME
I was going to write something long and complicated about this, but I am a bit non-plussed so far and so will merely list a few good/bad points:

CLASSIC
I like Pullo; the legionnaire who runs around drinking, whoring, gambling, brawling, stabbing people in the neck and saying “RAAARGHHH!” He is practically a PIRATE, only disguised as a soldier. Also he has a metal plate in his head, which makes him a CYBORG too!! Awesome. (his accent is a bit posh though – he should have been a cockerney or from oop north or something).

Attia of the Julii (aka Alexisus Colbeyus, aka Julii Cooper of the OC) is good value. Every roman TV series needs a manipulative bitch type character (see Livia in “I Clavdivs”) and she has been manipulating and bitching like a trooper. Alexisus has had her drippy son-in-law killed, is shagging half of Rome, has bathed in arterial bulls blood for our viewing pleasure and has all the best lines. I am now waiting with bated breath for her and Servalan (or whoever the hell Lindsey Duncan is playing) to have a catfight and both fall into a swimming pool. What? They had baths in Rome, innit?

Mark Anthony is fit and frequently takes his clothes off. Cheers!

There are some quite good sly little jokes, like the graffiti that is briefly glimpsed saying “Attia is a slaggg. Tru” in Latin. Also there was a funny bit where a soldier had just finished crucifying a bunch of Gauls and then had to take them all down again and made a pissy face. I thought it was funny anyway.

DUD
They cut the first three episodes down into two because apparently everyone in the UK knows Roman History – um, hello, no they don’t!! I only know the period of Roman history covered by “I Clavdivs” which appears to have started a while after “Rome” (seeing as how Octavian is a smarmy brat in this and was Brain Blessed (I think) in “Clavdivs”).

I still have no idea who half the people are in Pompey’s Posse or why they were so arsey about Julius Ceasar coming back to Rome in the first place. As if that wasn’t bad enough, all the scenes in the senate remind me fatally of Star Wars I – III. “Caesar has crossed the Rubicon and Naboo does not recognise the Trade Federations authority.” Etc etc.

Then, after having two over-edited, hard to understand episodes they have a really dull one where nothing much happens and Alexisus isn’t very entertaining. Booo.

Vorenus appears to have mistaken “playing an uptight rigid character” with “being totally wooden”. Also his wife and her sister appear to be from totally different continents. What’s that all about? As it happens, I am not particularly interested in common people’s marital problems. I can watch Eastenders for that. More of Attia having people killed and unleashing her bosoms in the name of POWER plz thanks.