THE RESTAURANT: PORK LIFE

This week the restaurants are each given half a whole pig, together with a butcher to help them convert it into din dins. They are told to use all of it.

Team Syno-Cymru have a themed pork night (snigger) and get round the problem by giving each punter a huge helping of meat.

Team Engerland go further into League of Gentlemen territory by describing deep fried lungs and heart as “crispy pork salad”. Vom.

Lots of teams make a gross terrine out of BRANES and CHEEKS! Mmm, seconds please. These do not prove to be very popular.
Team Father/Daughter struggle with service yet again. Father makes some shitty flyers by typing “We haz a pork!!” out with a dot matrix printer, hacking them up with a rusty bread knife and then giving two away before getting bored and going home. He is so annoying – presumably he thought “front of house” meant swanning round with a glass of wine saying “Did you enjoy your meal?” a few times. There is a clip of him wheedling for a tip and the customers saying “um no, the service was shit.”

Team LOL aren’t getting much custom out on a country road and need to rethink their marketing. Also their waiting staff seem to be v rubbish. Mild Mannered one has a nervous breakdown, while the Intense one ponces round in the kitchen doing intense cheffy things.

Team Twee win and Teams Father/Daughter (because he’s rubbish), Engerland (for their deceiving menu) and LOL (for not acting like a team) are put into the challenge – they have to serve a meal for an Oxford College one evening. I miss that one, but Father /Daughter go out, with him squarely getting the blame. I bet that’ll make for a tense Xmas dinner this year…