WELL I GIVE A MONKEY'S FART!

What a difference a week makes. BB has gone from unmissable to awful to unmissable again in about three days. It is like a roller coaster of emotions and Heat magazine hacks will be reduced to smoking puddles of hysteria by the time it is all over. Sensible Dawn, Raving Mentalist Shabhaz and Thick Lipped Posho George have all walked. The Teen muppets have paired off and become jealous at each other for said pairing off in record time. The group has split into “young breeders in love” versus “the rest” in record time too.

Grace (aka young margeret beckett) is now like the lead heather of bitchville. Imogen is just dull and whiny. Lisa is loud and annoying. Mikey is a dull blank cipher. Sezer has turned into a hateful little cockfarmer but will surely get the boot on Friday. I must have imagined it but did he say he is a Jeanette Winterson fan? Weird. Richard is kind of annoying. Lea is moany. Pete is a darling (I love it when he says “meow!” in his tourettes tic attacks) and Glyn is amusingly gauche. Nicki is pretty dreadful with her childish whining and hysterics (I CAN’T DRINK TAPWATER! I HAVE A MIGRAIINE! ETC!!) but is also pretty funny. Keep her in pls!

We also have two new housemates. Sam – who is kind of like a she-male version of Traci Bingham (super! awesome! etc) and Aishlene (sp???) - when I first heard about her I thought “Oh god, not another dull promotions girl stroke model” but she seems to be good value – hard as nails and with a keen Sezer bullshit detector.

Sezer, Richard and Lea are up for eviction and it seems as though Sezer is bound to go – I can’t wait to see his, Grace’s and Imogen’s faces when his name is called out. TV Gold! (why yes, I am counting my chickens etc…)